I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
