And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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