just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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