bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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