I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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