wat bout pragnant strippers??
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
