I want you more than these girls want KFC
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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