tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wish there were birth control emojis
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
