something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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