She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
