i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
