i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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