You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Randomize
