five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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