She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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