great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
