Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
