Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When are your genitals available?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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