you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
