It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
