I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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