dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
