i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
