well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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