marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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