I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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