I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
