so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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