my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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