There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
