bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's Friday. Sex?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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