your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
