i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
