he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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