hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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