The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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