I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
