Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
