just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
