I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
