things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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