My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
