If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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