My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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