talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize