are you so shy because you have an std?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
