he wants to bone in the snuggie
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
