this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
