Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize