i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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