i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize