i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
