we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize