I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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