he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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