Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
