I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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