I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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