I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We are all done wearing pants today
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
