Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
