Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
