Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
