Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
