can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
