also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you never un-have a 4some
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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