I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
